When it comes to life and relationships, I feel like I should take my own advice. I can always give it to everyone else, but when it comes to me, it’s as if the same advice or rules don’t apply to me and 99.99% of the time they should!!
A few weeks ago, I grabbed a bite to eat with a guy whom I’ve known for a long time. He’s that guy who’s always in your life, has seen you at your best and at your worst, would do anything for you and basically takes you as you are. He’s that guy every girl would want as her best guy friend or if she’s lucky enough to have as her boyfriend/husband.
So during our dinner we talked about sports, how our lives have been and relationships. He basically filled me in on the ins and outs of men. Some girls might look at this as a good thing, I on the other hand felt it didn’t help my case anymore than I already knew. I almost didn’t want to know why men are the way they are. I’ve read enough magazine articles, books and have had more than my fair share of ‘scenarios’ to know how men are. In a nut shell men are simple, oblivious creatures. I almost feel as though we as women need to tell them and guide them with certain things.
I for one am slightly bothered by this. What happened to the days where you were excited to stop by someone’s house like we did in high school or college? Or the days where once your day was over, you couldn’t wait to see that person? Or even better, spending the whole weekend together because you wanted to. Even meeting up with friends and/or doing things by yourselves as a couple. I feel like those days have been long gone for me.
For me, I keep finding the guys who are afraid to commit. Or have a million other things going on in their lives and can’t find the time for a girlfriend (then why pursue something is my question). And now there’s those guys that go by the ‘book’ of stages (stages?? Seriously). According to my guy friend, there’s the talking stage, dating stage, and then you’re in a relationship stage. I honestly looked at him like he had ten heads. I am either really outdated or really stupid to think that there shouldn’t be this many stages. I blatantly said to him,”I guess I don’t know how to date then. I usually go out with someone for a bit and then the become my boyfriend.” He was a little puzzled to say the least.
So I asked myself, “Why does there have to be these so-called “stages”?” Or I like to think of them as games. Why can’t a guy just be upfront and say “Are we going to try this?” and if it works, fantastic; and if it doesn’t then chalk it up as another lesson or experience.
Don’t we all want the guy who wants to just be with us. Make the time even if it’s for an hour. Don’t we want the kind of person who is going to go out of their way to let us know they want to be with us or that they are thinking of us (even if it’s a simple text or email) and someone who is not afraid to tell their friends about who they are seeing or dating. And then that brought up another thing~ the guy code.
I was listening to one of my favorite radio stations this morning on the radio, and they (the male and female hosts) made some good points about this thought of mine. The female was asking is there really a guy code when it actually happens more than people even realize (guys are girls dating someone a friend of theirs may have dated). And if two people are meant to be together, does this guy code really come into play? It was actually amusing to hear the male say majority of the time there is no guy code. If a guy wants to be with a girl, he’s going to do it. And he made the point that if these two people are meant to be together and the other guy has moved on then the guy code shouldn’t even be a problem.
As I was listening to this, I couldn’t help but laugh to myself because both points were true. I feel like when you were in high school and maybe in college, the girl and guy codes most likely apply. But I feel like as people get older and we move onto our real lives, it shouldn’t matter who people date. Yea it may be a little weird if you have to run into these people, but if both parties are happy then why does it matter. I guess that may be the maturity in me and hopeless romantic believing that people who are destined to be together eventually end up together no matter what.
I know I may be alone on that thought, but I would like to think that we can all live in a world where everyone is happy for everyone. And if you’re friends aren’t happy for you, then are they really even your friends?
I just think that in a very stressed, fast paced world we live in, why is it so difficult to find someone who just wants to be with you~ wholeheartedly, unconditionally, and be 110% in it.
If you are lucky enough to find this person, you’ve hit the jackpot. I like to think that He puts certain people into our lives and continues to show them in our lives for specific reasons. Don’t ignore the signs. They’re there and they probably always were. There are reasons why you feel a certain way towards certain people and you must always follow your heart and gut. Life is too short people! If we don’t act upon how we feel, you will miss out on something great and that guy or girl will get scooped up by someone else.
If you like someone or have an interest in pursuing something, tell them. If you are in the talking stages, stop being a wimp and just man up and date the girl- because guys, here’s a tip of advice~ You will probably end up losing her if you take too long. And guys if you’re dating a girl you really like don’t be afraid to have her be part of your life. Show her off and be proud to have her in your life. We can sense all of these things and if we are feeling loved, wanted and appreciated, it will be a beautiful relationship for all.
I hope with time and patience, my guy will have his a-ha moment and not be afraid to do any of the above and until then, I’ll continue on this crazy ride of life as the single fabulous self that I am.