You are stronger and bigger and braver than what they did, and you don’t have to let it define you any longer. Forgive. Let Go. Move On. Don’t look back. Your new beginning is waiting. ~Mandy Hale
For 10 years I allowed myself to let failed relationships define who I am. I was constantly beating myself up over them, every single time they failed.
Why does this always happen to me?
What did I do wrong this time?
How can someone do that to someone else?
Questions upon questions. Night after night. I was always yelling up to God, “Ok! I get it. I’ve learned my lesson.” And each time it happened, I kept thinking, “Ok. Maybe I didn’t learn my lesson the last time. But this time I did.” 10 years. That’s how long it took me to realize the only relationship that I did not have fail me, was the one with God. Every single man that broke my heart, He was there. Even though every single time I got mad at Him for letting another man do something horrible to me, He was there to pick me up off the bathroom floor from crying hysterically. He never let me down. Little did I know that this whole time, He was the only one who loved me through all of my difficult times, when no other man could. 10 years. That’s how long it took me to realize I did have a man who loved me. No matter what.
Keep Praying. Keep Hoping. Keep holding out not just for okay, or for even better, but for the best.~Mandy Hale
When I was in my mid-twenties I used to think 30 was old. I had the typical life plan in my head that every other mid-20 something had – husband, kids, house with a white picket fence, and dogs. I was so desperate to have that, that I stayed in a relationship for far too long with a man who was so undeserving of my love, devotion and commitment. It wasn’t until He finally “smothered” me with a red flag (I had ignored all the ones he waved at me) that I finally came to my senses. I had an ah-ha moment, as I like to call them. It’s when you just wake up one day and realize, “What am I doing with my life? And with this person?” And you finally start to call the shots in your life and do for you. Once I did that, I prayed and hoped for a good man to come into my life. And over the next 6 years, a few that were dateable did, but each one, like the last, was not the best. In each relationship you learn more and more about yourself. And in each relationship, I was still getting angry with God. All my friends were meeting their “bests” and having babies and getting their happily ever after. And there I was standing in the dust, again. Alone. But little did I know, I wasn’t alone. He was there, right beside me. He was there to hold my hand and get me through some very difficult times. He was there to get me through all of my friends’ weddings, single. And you know what, now that I look back. I made it through and I was okay. I whole heartedly enjoyed myself at all of these events, and now that I look back, I know how and why I was able to do this. I wasn’t alone. I did have a date. And my date was Jesus. The one man, who would never let me down.
You just have to be patient in His timing and secure enough in your worth to know that God wants to give His children the very best gifts. ~ Mandy Hale
Each time I had to see someone else getting the “happily ever after” I wanted, I kept thinking I was being punished. And my consequence was to keep waiting for my “happily” to happen (and to wonder if it ever will). I kept losing my faith and not feeling worthy enough to receive it. It wasn’t until the past two years did I realize that I’m not being punished. And my consequence is not not getting my “happily ever after”. My gift is coming. And it’s going to be the best gift out there. He’s just not ready to give it to me yet. He doesn’t punish us. He rewards us and loves us. Far better than we could ever imagine. In life, we don’t always get what we want and that’s okay. There is a reason we don’t and we shouldn’t question. We need to stop questioning and wondering the “why didn’t it happen” and look forward to the “I can’t wait for it to happen”.
You really can on any given day, at any given time, at any given place encounter someone who has the potential to change your life. ~Mandy Hale
Just yesterday at work I had one of God’s little ah-ha moments happen to me. I’ve never in my life realized how many of these moments I’ve probably had happen to me and I didn’t even realize it. I love that I am now SO open to seeing them and believing in his work. Knowing your worth and how a man should treat you is so important. And it wasn’t until yesterday that I had a little encounter with someone did it slap me in the face. It reminded me of what I had been telling myself all along. But I, along with lots of other women, say to ourselves, usually when we start to date someone “weeelllll, he doesn’t have to do that I guess” and start to make ‘excuses’ in a sense. We should never settle for anything that is not on our list of what we expect from someone. And one of the things I want is for a man to light up when he sees me. I want him to think about how lucky he is to have me in his life, whether it be a friendship or a loving relationship. And just yesterday, I saw someone I hadn’t seen in awhile, and he did just that. He lit up when he saw my face come through the door at work. That’s how the man in my life should look at me. And you know how I know this. I know that He looks at me that way every single morning when I am blessed to have awaken. Never. Ever. Settle for anything less.
I could’t get through many of nights without the help of my beautifully talented friend, mentor and one of my favorite authors- Mandy Hale. She is like you and she is like me.
Mandy Hale’s Beautiful Uncertainty is a magical, raw, inspirational book. She speaks from the heart and soul. She will make you smile, laugh, relate, and cry. She will become your new best friend. She is my inspiration to know that it’s okay to be single, to surrender to Him, and to step out on faith. God is good and she will restore your faith.